when roosters attack

I probably didn't tell most of you yet, but a couple of weeks ago, my rooster and I had a bit of a confrontation. I went into the coop to collect eggs, and our rooster strutted in through the doorway. As he took wing, I knew based on Mel's warnings that he was not there for a casual crowing conversation. He wanted blood. As he flapped towards me, I placed my rubber boot on his chest and pushed. He kind of faltered, but delivered a surprisingly powerful kick to my shin, and lunged for a different AOA (for you avation challenged folks, this stands for angle of attack). I felt being tall and upright gave me better SA (situational awareness), but that intial blow was staggering. I began to add additional pressure with my rubber boot until he was flying back to bounce off of the wall of the coop. He gathered his chicken wits and continued his barrage, going for what I guess he considered the "weak shin", so I resorted to flapping wings of my own and shouting "get out of here" in sort of a panicked state. At this point he backed out of the coup, and I hastily collected the booty. He thought he would flank me, but I had a ready eye on the chicken-sized opening in the wall. I kicked heaps of sawdust into his face before he could squeeze his intimidating mass through the door, and he finally was convinced that merely this small battle was lost. We both came away from the experience with the understanding that, were he any bigger, I'd be the one face down in the sawdust.

Tonight I returned from a visit with my film group to experience a similar assault, this time while I was trying to feed his insatiable apetite with food and water. Um, I'm already tired of this. Any suggestions? And the first one to mention chicken stew I will assume is willing to gut and pluck the big guy. And on top of that, I expect you to eat him. Perhaps I will have you all over for roast chicken. He is big enough to feed a family I think. Don't forget that the rooster will not shut up and places us at odds with neighbors who need to keep their dogs quiet. He also harasses the two hens, plucks the feathers from their backs, and creates too many fertilized fried eggs for my taste. Food requirements. Excessive noise. Unwarranted aggression. Fried zygotes for breakfast. The big guy has to go. Not sure if I just want to set him free or Dick Cheney him as he crows.

Oddly, no one wants him as a gift.